Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
