when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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