So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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