Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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