tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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