grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I yelled at your uterus for you.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
