oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
