this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Will exercising make me less horny?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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