My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
