just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
