Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
