so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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