Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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