If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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