Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
