Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
