maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
