absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
