just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
