What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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