he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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