Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
