If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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