Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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