hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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