Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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