im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
