Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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