The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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