my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm always down for nudity.
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