and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
