I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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