DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
