There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
