Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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