I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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