IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
