Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's official drugs can't kill me
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
