My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at about main and main street
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize