I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
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She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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