At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
