oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize