so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
