did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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