I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
