covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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