i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
