the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
