Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
