Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
