she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
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All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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