just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
