yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
