did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
