I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
