these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
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The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
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I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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