You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
