Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
