That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
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I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
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I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ