I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think i have herpe
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.