are you so shy because you have an std?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.