The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
