boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
