Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
